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Category: Movies (Anime/Manga/Game Adaptations)
Hopeless Hollywood LOG 1 - Dragon Ball Movie bashing
| Posted at 04:43 PM on November 11, 2008 |
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Welcome to the premier of 'Hopeless Hollywood'! These blog entries will mostly contain Hollywood's failed attempts of ripping off awesome Japanese Anime and Manga series. Bashing might be a hard word and it's probably not nice to laugh at America's script writers for their recent loss of ideas in the movie-making, but some things just can't pass unnoticed...
Thus seeing Dragon Ball getting devoured by Hollywood jerk-offs hurts somewhere inside of me... I didn't even wanted to know anything about that movie until it's official release... but it was bound to happen anyway... Especially to people who are spending way too much time on the internet to just ignore all the pictures and videos... people like me for example.
I'm gonna watch it none the less, because you can't judge a movie by its trailer...
But on with the first impression/predictions of the characters and their relations... let's see...
Goku got the least-gokuish actor possible... he's gonna be a bit self-conscious, yet enthusiastic and hardcore when it comes to fighting... and apparently girls... which leads us directly to Chichi, who seems to have trouble with a prearranged wedding (some pictures showed with her with some not-goku guy at a wedding). ... but there is no Hollywood movie without a dramatic love story, even though canonly those two had very little passion going on.
And of course we can't miss out on Bulma the wannabe asian, with unbelievable skill in dealing with guns and all that bad-girl stuff... yeah, the same clumsy Bulma that scolded Goku all the time in the series. But hey! No need to worry, 'coz who-gives-a-shit-Mia will be her perfect opponent, giving super-Bulma more than a handful of bitch to battle. I don't even know what to think of her, maybe she's gonna be Piccolo's f***-toy... I mean villain + villain often equals a self destructive love-affair with steamy smex. Well, the namek got rid of his wonderful green color anyways... maybe he exchanged it for a functioning human reproductive organ? (Some of you know that Nameks might be hermaphrodites). But he will do fine as a white-trash bad-ass. He sure gathered enough experience in Buffy the vampire slayer.
Yamcha is definitely going to be a one man deputy for both Kuririn and Tenshinhan maybe there'll be a personality-disorder involved, I'm sure that everybody would love that. And Puar could take on the role of his imaginary pet/side-kick... if she'll even make an appearance that is.
Last but not least... Master Roshi... phew, wise he is... but will he fit into the role of a perverted geezer? His hair speaks against it... guess Turtle had to be cut out in order to save budget money for an additional hair-stylist...
About all other characters that should be somewhere in between... well stop hoping you'll get to see any of 'em... 'coz if who-gives-a-shit-Mia got her five seconds in the Trailer, any other minor characters most likely wont be featured in the movie.
Another thing that seemed kinda off was the great amount of Asians... or rather the lack of white people... do they think it'll attract a larger attendance? Who knows, maybe none of those fancy actors wanted to get laughed at?
Anyways... watch the trailer for yourself... my flaming criticism expired for today,
One of my next movie bashings will feature Death Note 'the new Hollywood rip-off', so look forward to it.
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